“I don’t want to break my parents’ heart. I love my family.”
This is what I hear from the 17-year-olds who are planning to leave the Jehovah’s Witnesses. And it breaks my heart every single time. No teenager should have to decide between having a family and living their own lives. But they do. And I know exactly what that feels like.
Venus rules love, money and what we value. These kids are being asked to choose between loving their family and loving themselves.
Venus went retrograde October 3rd (direct again November 13th), and it stationed in the first decan of Scorpio. That’s the Five of Cups’ decan. Retrogrades look back. And in Scorpio, feelings run deep and hold on.
Small wonder I’m feeling this acutely right now.
Nobody escapes grief by denying it. (Believe me, I’ve tried. HARD.) So let’s stay honest, because denial costs more than grief ever does; the interest is exorbitant.
The Five of Cups is a card nobody wants to see—least of all Tarot readers. We want to be all love and light and Universal sunshine, reality be damned. Because it feels better (for a minute).
But when we dismiss the weight of our losses, as if they’re merely a road to a better place instead of the very real losses they are, we’re lying to ourselves.
You can pretend pain isn’t pain if you slap a fresh coat of brightly colored paint on it and call it “spiritual progress.” Your heart still knows, though.
That’s spiritual bypassing—”it was necessary for my growth, the Universe has something better for me, I’m on my path.” Ultimately, that might be where you come down on it, big picture. But right here, right now, the pain is raw and real and it’s undeniable.
Just make sure you are right here, right now. Because it takes a huge amount of energy to submerge an emotional reality, and whatever we bury tends to pop up in other ways. We can’t check out without paying the (emotional) bill.
I’m not saying we want to make the rest of our lives all about grieving. I’m saying don’t deny the pain. Don’t become the pain. Just FEEL the pain. And in doing so honestly, you honor what was lost. It mattered to you, or you wouldn’t be feeling the grief.
Honest grieving allows you to appreciate what you did have and reassess what’s meaningful. What you have left may ultimately be better, or it may not be. The values aren’t set. But however it lands, the experience forever changes you. That’s the part of what’s lost that lives on in those remaining cups.
You’re also doing a service in honestly facing your grief. Those who witness will feel some of that pain. It can alter them, the same way it alters you.
It still hits me, as the witness. Most of those kids do get out, eventually. They’ll pay the price, just like I did. And most will tell you it’s worth it. I know I do, whenever I get the chance.
The cost of love is grief, because anything you love, you can lose. Nothing lasts forever, so the price tag is built in. But the only way to avoid grief is to form no attachments. And that’s not really avoiding loss. It’s more like making your entire life a loss.
What losses have been worth it to you?
In a Reading
- Upright: Grief over a loss. The change is permanent.
- Reversed: Incoming, delayed or distorted grief. Perhaps overblown or denied grief. Have you declared yourself over something that you’re very not over?
- As advice: Allow yourself to feel the grief so you can work through it. Something will be left from the process (in the standing cups), but you won’t know exactly what until you are positioned to see it.
Astro Connection
Mars in Scorpio Decan: the first decan of Scorpio, 0–10°
