At first blush, seeing the Five of Cups as “what to take from the past” makes for a pretty odd combination. The Five of Cups is obviously about grief, something most of us would rather firmly leave that in the past, thank you very much!
But I’ve been friends with the cards long enough to think hard before blurting, “What the Hell, Tarot?!?”
Grief is not so simple as people would usually make it. To those surrounding the grieving, it’s platitudes about time healing wounds and looking at the bright side. It’s something you don’t want to get on you.
To the person submerged too deeply, it’s the end of the world without hope for light in the morning. It’s a suffering you cannot imagine being without. To let go of even just a little seems as if it might invalidate the value of what’s lost.
To the wise, grief is part of life. You could wallow in grief endlessly—but that’s not constructive. That essentially puts an end to your life. Or you can try to sidestep it completely—also not constructive. Grief lives on in your subconscious to bite you in the ass when you’re not looking. It sinks into your body, into your tissues and cells, where you have no control over it and it can make you crazy or physically ill.
Loss of a significant sort will change you, alter you at a basic, core level. It changes how you view the universem because you know the “unthinkable” not only can happen, but has!
And yet, life does go on. And if you’re smart, you continue to live. Learning you can go on despite it all, changes you as well. It alters your self-perception, it alters your values, and it alters your perspective. It just…alters.
I think of grief as an unpleasant medicine. Rather than become the pain or deny the pain, FEEL the pain. It doesn’t taste good but it’s healing. Let it flow through you until it’s used up. There may be an empty spot remaining. But if you accept what is, you can keep living. Then you have both the understanding, of what the loss does mean, and the knowledge, of the cups you have still standing. That is how you take the grief from the past…at least the part that’s useful to you.
Are you seeing dynamics surrounding past grief right now?
Follow Dixie and the Everyday Tarot on Twitter, Facebook, or YouTube.
Or just schedule a Tarot session. It’s faster, getting messages that way. Ha!
It’s kind of amusing. My ex’s fiancee has been super supportive, and she and I were talking about everything but him (he’s off limits, because I’m done) and she asked me how I was doing and I just went . . . . you know what? I’m good. Not angry, not bitter, not . . . anything, really. I haven’t been avoiding thinking about him, he just doesn’t get any attention because I guess I have moved on pretty quickly. Was kind of cool to realize, but part of why I’m OK now (I’m betting) is that I got angry when things went pear-shaped. I got angry and I got sad and I just let myself feel all that crap instead of doing my usual control-freak not-feeling-it-and-you-can’t-make-me routine with uncomfortable stuff.
So yeah. Feelin’ this. In the best possible way, if that exists. <3 <3 <3
(To those who don't know the entire story: sorry for the lack of framing there. It's a novel, truly.)