Someone posted on an ex-cult forum where I’m active. She was clearly in pain, clearly reaching for comfort from the only ones well-positioned to understand her situation. I frequently respond to posts like that—but I found hers rather off-putting.
It wasn’t the grief, her struggle, or emotional rawness. I’m good with all that. It was her assumption that the people she was asking were filled with hate. That’s the word she used: “hateful.”
And just like that, I wanted to correct her. To explain why some of us are angry and how that reaction is not about hate. In short, I wanted to prove her wrong. The pull to set her straight was a lot louder than any desire to offer comfort or insight.
I realized my impulse to push back mirrored her expectations. Because on some level, I wanted to let her know she was actually being the hateful one and we (meaning I) did not deserve it.
I was a little taken aback when I realized I risked becoming at least some of what she expected. We would be reflecting each other’s defenses, our wounds, more than any actual intent. That’s when I knew I needed to step back.
But this? This is the dynamic we’re looking at in the week ahead.
Next Week in the Cards
Outlook: The Lovers
The Lovers card is about harmony—some type of alignment—but not necessarily agreement. We may have shared values, even if the expression of those values looks different. You might find yourself considering common ground, even (or especially?) in places where there’s been friction.
It’s not about forcing unity and calling it solved. It’s more like… “I see where you’re coming from, even if I’m not going there with you.”
Sometimes tension shows up when both sides think they’re standing on principle—but the real question is, what are you actually defending? Is it a principle worth protecting universally, or just window-dressing for feeling right?
That’s the choice The Lovers points to: not “who’s right,” but “what’s worth choosing?” That might mean choosing connection, when you can. And stepping back, when you can’t.
Advice: Four of Cups
The Four of Cups often shows up as discontent—but it doesn’t have to be. It can also signal a need for quiet reflection. A pause. A moment to sit with possibilities and consider what might be.
Yes, you could miss something important if you’re too wrapped up in your own mental movie. But when you’re not busy dressing down your neighbor in your head, you’ve got more room to consider how you might actually move toward those shared goals.
Just don’t expect the insight to announce itself with fireworks. You’ll need to reground, take stock, and check your blind spots—which are almost certainly emotional here. It is the suit of Cups, after all.
As for me? I haven’t hit that reply button, and I don’t know if I will. I’m letting it sit, seeing what’s in my own head and heart to understand from the experience. But either way, I’m going to be getting something useful out of it.
Now, for you:
Are you finding yourself with any uneasy bedfellows? What might shift if you stepped back to daydream about potential harmony, instead of reacting to the disharmony?
