Powerful version of the Five of Pentacles from Osho Zen today: The Outsider. This one shows up for me more regularly than the classic version, which points to feelings of lack. That makes sense, as I usually feel pretty blessed. I’m assuming I see this one more because it’s particular spin—an unsure little kid peers through the gate, dreaming up what seems inaccessible: fitting in.
As someone with a strong Uranus signature in my chart, I consider “weird” the nice way to put it. Most days, I’m beyond okay with this. I’m not perfect but I LIKE me and wouldn’t want to be indistinguishable from the masses. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here before you, pink-haired and quirky, flipping cards and making videos. Duh!
But that doesn’t mean it never feels a little itchy, either. Hence, this card shows up for me.
Of course, as it’s been pointed out when this card has come up before, the lock isn’t fastened shut. His sense of being locked out is an illusion. But then again, that sense of separateness always is illusion. We are ALL connected. It’s just human nature to categorize and we can make rather arbitrary distinctions as a matter of course. We isolate and separate to gain a sense of security.
“See how many people agree with me?” The group consensus quells fear. Quell your own fears and you’ll have less of a need to segregate.
The funniest thing: when you ask people about feeling like an outsider, it’s damn near universal experience. Ironic, you know? It’s as if each of us is alone in a sense, each of us has to reconcile our desire to live true to our own, unique energy with our desire to be part of a larger community; each of us sometimes feels as if we’ve failed that task.
And that feeling of failure goes hand-in-hand with feeling not good enough. We project fears of inadequacy upon the group we feel separated from, as if the distance is proof of our brokenness. By the same token, we may take belonging as validation when it’s truly nothing of the sort. It’s merely a reflection of the group’s vibration and nothing more.
My antidote is to find my own reality, and do my damnedest to always live true, walking my soul’s path with as much integrity as I can generate. There will AWLAYS be people who find my path offensive, at least if I’m not compromising my essence into a bland oblivion to become more palatable. Fair enough. Those who are a good fit will find me, and I them.
I understand all humanity shares a certain connection. I also understand that within the larger group, smaller groups form. I may not be always welcome in a given group. But I will ALWAYS be welcome in the groups that are an energetic fit for where I am. The trick is figuring out, like this little boy, that I have the choice which groups I connect with, by virtue of how I express my energy.
I won’t say it’s never tiresome or annoying when you’re getting shouted down from the other side of the gate. But I remind myself, in important ways, we ARE all the same. I do what I believe is right, while others are doing what they believe is right. We’re both on the same side. They just don’t know it.
I’m not going to point that out. I’ll just smile a tiny bit to myself, and silently send a little heart energy. Sometimes, it’s hard doing what you think is right. I can try to send a little love to people making the effort, even if I don’t find their efforts entirely agreeable. The intention of doing right is a common ground.
Can you relate to “the outsider?”
 | Osho Zen Tarot Set by US Games |