June 20

Asking about Third Parties in Tarot Readings


Asking about Absent Third Party in Tarot Readings
Asking about people who aren’t there?

People come to readings looking for guidance and answers–often, involving situations about people important to them, like spouses, significant others, friends or children. One question that comes up frequently is: What’s okay to ask about other people in readings?

There are definitely ethical considerations. As one of my clients puts it, it’s like “peeking into someone else’s windows.” I can’t think of a better analogy. And yet, questions about your loved ones, coworkers or family and your relationships with them is a very legitimate reason to seek guidance! So, how do you know?

Intent and consent are both central to the reading process. Tarot should be a tool of self-empowerment, not for spying or meddling in others’ affairs. If you don’t focus on yourself, you’re missing a golden opportunity for change right there.

My personal rule is that it’s okay to ask about other people only in the context of the questioner’s relationship to the people and situations. If a wife is trying to determine if her husband is cheating, that’s pretty relevant to the wife, don’t you think? But if she’s wondering if her ex-husband’s cheating on his new girlfriend because, well, she just knows the S.O.B. is like that…eh, that’s gossip. Gossip isn’t very spiritual, y’know.

It can get a little sticky sorting it out at times but it’s important enough to be worth the trouble. I know the information I get is all by grace, and believe if I were to abuse and misuse that source, it would close to me. That’s pretty good motivation to stay away from the dark side.

But beyond conviction I’d lose my ability to tune in the same way, I want to feel good about the work I do. Keeping boundaries intact helps me do that.

What do you think about questions involving other people in readings?

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Dixie works with all kinds of people looking for all kinds of support in confidential, one-on-one sessions.  Find out more about working together or see what her clients say about the experience.


Professional Readers, Psychics, Tarot Ethics

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  1. I’ve seen both sides of it – when I was younger, my mother went to psychics, constantly asking them about ME. I hated it. I don’t know if they had the integrity to keep their nose out of my business or not.
    I gave a reading just the other day to a woman who (gee, guess what?) wanted to know if her daughter would ever be happy and in love. I didn’t look at the daughter, I looked at her mother, and suggested that her energy was very useful in “seeing” her daughter as being able to find that happiness and love, and doing it!

  2. Kim, I’m that mom! My daughter had an ulcer at 12 & couldn’t take the meds so I had to seek alternative treatments. I met a psychic/healer & entered the spiritual world because of my daughter so it’s hard to just STOP when they turn 18, especially when there’s been ISSUES-LOTS of them. I’m happy to say she’s a healthy & very strong 22 y.o. college students who gave her mom a bigger pocket knive for Christmas to help me cut the umbilical cord.

    She still sees the psychic for cleaning & energy work & even thought I try not to be nosey sometimes it just happens (I’m CancerMom it’s in my chart) & the psyhic has no problem keeping the boundaries. Good for you for doing the same with your clients & don’t be mad at your mom, it’s because she loves you!

  3. Dixie, I just don’t know where to start on this one – LOL!

    You know I’d love to rip open the curtains & peek away; however, you’re very ethical-damn you woman! No really, you’ve helped me a great deal in understanding what’s most empowering for ME & you help ME “redirect” myself back onto MY path. You have looked at others & their situations but only to help me get understanding to help ME make the best decisions for MYself & my family.

    Alas, I’ve had to pack up the binoculars, telescope & cancel my membership at the observatory (you know my daughter LOVES you for this) because you’ve taught me looking to/at others for answers or understanding their situation doesn’t help me. It’s all about empowering MYSELF & to only give energy to things which are mine or in MY best interest!

    BTW – I know I’m still a work in progress so thanks for hanging with me!
    Love You Dixie

    1. “It’s all about empowering MYSELF & to only give energy to things which are mine or in MY best interest!”

      I LOVE this, CancerMom. You have just officially made my day.

      1. I’m glad I made your day! Sometimes it’s nice to let others know the impact they’ve made in your life & in our short time together as reader/readee your impact has been HUGE! I do believe my daughter is President of your fan club.

  4. CancerMom – I really “get” that – quite often it’s our loved ones who redirect our lives onto an alternate route! My beloved dogs and horses did that for me – I would not be who I am without all the weird illnesses they came up with that allopathic medicine could not cure.
    Good for you for the realizations you’ve made! I do wish that had happened in my situation – however it has not.
    What HAS happened is that any attempts – by anyone – to snoop where not invited is completely stopped cold. So, in a backwards way, it has been a gift as I have learned an invaluable talent.
    I also understand, very clearly, how to respect someone’s boundaries, and hold my own.

  5. Yeah, this is always a good question. And I agree that only the highest intentions should be considered and boundaries respected.

    Whenever a question like this comes up for me, whether it’s my question or from someone I’m reading for, I always ask first if I’m allowed to do a reading for this 3rd person, then I draw a card. The card I draw lets me know whether the Powers That Be are saying: Yes, you may “peek into their windows.” Or: No, you are not given permission. And I go from there.

  6. CancerMom, that is a great insight about the health issues.

    I’ve had to do so much to just keep my kid simply alive and functioning sanely that I’m already worried about how I will detach when he’s on his own.

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