Stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck, stuck. Losing family, being in court, parenting crises, financial meltdowns…by my age, I’ve had the downs part of life’s ups and downs sometimes.
But those times when solutions seemed completely unattainable? The times I felt most trapped? I DID manage to extricate myself and you can, too. It involves a change of paradigm and a surrender.
Today’s Tarot is the reversed Six of Swords (Mercury in Aquarius) and the Ace of Cups (root of Water). Are you having a rough time adjusting to a significant shift? Not quite able to make the journey? Look honestly, at what’s in your heart. This will show you the holdup—maybe something you’ve outgrown—as well as point the way forward.
When we lost our kids, I felt like I was going to implode. I couldn’t look at children around the same age without some Niagara Falls action. The rage came and went and between the two, I was not exactly a fun date…I had the choice of living in that mire as long as I could stand it, but really, who wants to? It was impossible to breathe in that muck, let alone think.
Physical circumstances could change without my consent; my love could not. Over others, I had no control. But I could control myself. I could rage and hate—but it made me feel sick inside and turn into a person I didn’t much like. Or I could forgive those that had hurt, knowing that as soon as I decided it didn’t matter, it would cease to be the knife embedded in my gut.
You reach deep into your heart to find this place—what represents where you want to go, who you want to be? I wanted to be a happy, fully present person, wife, mother, and friend. I couldn’t do that if I allowed myself to be angry, bitter and sick.
I actively looked for ways to open my heart back up, keep my love from shutting down amidst the pain. You can justify a lot in response to someone else’s behavior but always know, you answer only for YOU. Are you living and breathing who you want to be? Because no matter what someone else tries to take from you, they cannot take your identity.
You decide, whom and what lives rent-free in your head. You decide, where your energy goes and what flavor it is. By the way you live you life. Life gives voice and form to soul. You pick your vibration, by your thoughts, words and deeds. Your heart tells you how you’re doing, via emotional feedback. When you emotionally release that which is not yours, you can process your own feelings about it and leave others to tend themselves.
There’s a huge temptation to shut down a heart when it aches so. But that’s the worst thing to do, because it closes off receiving love when love is exactly what heals. The vulnerability to feel hurt is a proportional by-product to the depth of love. You can’t have love without potential for pain. And you can’t discard pain without reaching for love.
Do you find this to be true for you?
|Mystic Dreamer Tarot
by Heidi Darras
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