“What’s holding me back?” When everything is in place, when the way ahead is known, when I’m doing what I think is all the right things, what keeps me from reaching the other side, bridging the divide?
Today’s Tarot is the reversed Six of Swords (Mercury in Aquarius), also known as Lord of Earned Success. That title is a pretty good clue, what this energy is like.
This version is an interesting twist on the traditional RWS crossing. While the RWS emphasizes the journey (and makes no bones about the fact it’s not been an easy one), the Cosmic Tarot focuses more on the lessons learned, the mastery of skill involved in his balancing act. Process versus outcome focus.
I normally see the Six of Swords when one is undertaking a difficult transition, leaving some sort of hardship for better times. Reversed, I’d expect delays, difficulty or hesitation. It doesn’t mean the transition from struggle to ease is not underway or available—only that it’s blocked, not flowing with ease.
Often, it’s fear. Those swords are sharp, after all. It’s a dangerous business, this.
My fear is a quiet, sneaky little bastard that hides in the shadows behind the couch. He knows if I notice him, I’ll do my damnedest to banish so instead, he watches and waits. He’s stealthy. He may show up as procrastination, nervousness, distraction, or self-doubt. Or he may just sit in wait, looking for his chance.
He’s an opportunist. Any stumble, any glitch, any unkind word that wavers my faith, in the divine or in myself becomes his cue. He whispers in my ear. “You’re stupid, you’re wrong. You’re crazy. You’re confused. You’re unloved. You’re broken.”
His words cut into my reality and invalidate it. He feeds.
I am fallible. I know I am. So I can’t be entirely sure he’s wrong every time.
I can, though, be sure of my intention. I can be sure of my integrity. I can be sure of doing the best I know how to do, every single day. And I can be sure of my commitment to learning and growing.
I can call upon the power of the light to expose the him for what he really is: a wounded animal. There’s no reason, no truth required for his attack power. He’s a dog born of old wounds, a personification of Chiron.
You don’t kill the Fear Monster. You understand him. That shines light. You forgive him and respond with love. No matter what he brings you, cover it with love. Trust in the power of your intention, trust the divine spark within that is your soul to guide. Trust that all is as it should be. Activating your Heart Chakra, pour on kindness and compassion. It melts the fear away. Love is a superpower.
Do you have a Fear Monster?
|Cosmic Tarot Deck |
by Norbert Losche
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