I recently had to put my very sweet, psychic cat to sleep. I knew it was coming, having plenty of warning. I did the best I could for her, to keep her comfortable and to make her last days happy. She’s always been a chow hound and was on medication that made her hungry, so I fed her whenever she wanted, which was a lot.
But even as I was preparing to take her in to the vets for the last time–she hid when she heard me get the carrier, but was too sick to hide well–knowing it was the right thing to do (and wanting with every fiber of my being not to do it), I found myself thinking, “What if?”
“What if I’d taken her in sooner? What if I were a better healer? What if I had practiced my Reiki more and worked harder? What if I’d prayed harder, done more magic, held more faith?” I believe in magic and miracles. So why couldn’t I pull some of that off for her? Some people would think that ridiculous, and others would say, of course I shouldn’t blame myself for my cat getting cancer. But feelings don’t always fit into tidy little boxes.
I never knew I’d miss being woken up before the sun rises by a cat hollering at me, demanding to be fed.
Looking at the week as a whole, I’m getting a strong whiff of “what if?” Looks like regret and recovery color the emotional landscape in the coming week.
Monday, Mind, Playfulness/Page of Wands reversed: Is your mind playing tricks on you? Or maybe you’re feeling a little cranky? Would be a good day to lighten up and not take yourself too seriously.
Tuesday, Co-workers – Schizophrenia/Two of Swords: Well, I don’t like the looks of that! I mean, who wants to see the word “schizophrenia” associated with co-workers? Expect indecisiveness or endless weighing of options around the job.
Wednesday, Parnter – Adventure/Page of Pentacles: Your partner(s) = grounding. I used to say sometimes, “Even going to the grocery store can be an adventure with the right attitude.” I’d add to that, anything can be an adventure, with the right attitude–and the right company. Seek the right company.
Thursday, Underlying Influences – Intensity/Knight of Wands reversed: Look at what you feel driven to do today. Look at issues where your reaction is out of proportion to the stimulus. Find yourself speaking with way more emphasis than expected? Or is someone else being more intense that you’d think a situation warranted? That’s like a big, fat neon arrow pointing to what’s really going on.
Friday, What to Know – The Dream/Six of Cups: Know that your vision of what’s ahead could be unrealistic, naive or lacking full insight into the nuances of reality. Potential to dream things up and not allow for reasonable setbacks in planning.
Saturday, What you Can’t Change – Healing/King of Cups reversed: It takes time to get over hurt. The only way out of pain is through it. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and let that energy go. It can and will, once expended.
Sunday, Hobbies and Talents – Participation/Four of Wands reversed: Don’t sulk! Get out there and do what you love (and are good at doing). The day is a lot more rewarding that way.
Overview/Advice, Present, Ice-olation/Three of Swords reversed: Pain subsides over time, and when it’s properly felt. Don’t allow yourself to become isolated and wallow, but do allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel. This appears to be a healing, a lessening of hurt, but the hurt is still there. Not forever, but for now. Hugs anyone? ♥
Affirmation: Every “reality” has been focused by someone into being. When I or someone I love struggle, one of my perspective hacks is to tell myself, “There is a reason any person is where they are. If someone is struggling, they must have something to learn or grow from it, or they would not be there.” Don’t confuse this with blaming folks for their own headaches, because blaming requires a judgemental stance and I don’t go there. Honestly, I find this type of reframe incredibly comforting, because it gives purpose to the sting. If I’m in a tough spot due my choices, it’s easy enough to slip on this re-frame. If conscious choices don’t seem to factor in, then I put it in context of divine purpose, soul contracts and choices of the higher self. Maybe that doesn’t resonate with you, but I’ll tell you if you can make the leap from “life sucks” to “serves a higher purpose, even if I don’t understand it right now,” the cost of admission is the same but you’ll feel a lot of relief.
I think I’m doing alright, letting go of my regrets to make way for the recovery bit. But if you have a pet, go give them a nuzzle, okay?
Are you dealing with regrets and recovery?
If you enjoy these forecasts, you may like Dixie’s book, Everyday Tarot Archives: Daily Dose of 78 (Living the Whole Deck). This week’s forecast uses the Osho Zen Tarot: The Transcendental Game Of Zen paired with the Deck of 1000 Spreads.