“Love does not dominate; it cultivates.” –Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
One of the very hardest lessons of love is allowing others freedom to make their own choices unimpeded, follow their own path, and genuinely wish them well–even for choices we’d not be excited about otherwise. It’s an exercise in self-control, but one well worth the trouble.
Today’s Tarot is the Page of Cups inverted, “Prince of the Water,” associated with Earth in Water. As Earth represents tangible manifestations of energy and water covers emotions, this Page sometimes heralds a new love affair. Inverted, there are issues afoot. Like their real life court counterparts, Tarot pages also bear messages—in the suit of Cups, it’s a matter of emotional import. Inverted, this page may bear news you don’t like. Uh oh!
Parents may want what is best for their kids, but cannot and should not make choices for their kids, much as they may be tempted to meddle. It builds strength and character for kids to figure out their own issues. It matters little if the parents are “right” objectively. If a child doesn’t choose to accept a parent’s very good advice, then there is still something they need to learn from the situation. Viewed this way, mistakes don’t occur in isolation. Each is an opportunity for learning and growth.
While perhaps not as obvious, the same principle applies to any relationship. You can persuade, encourage, support and argue until you’re blue in the face, but the truth universally holds—other people are not you. They have no responsibility to live their lives as you’d prefer. Expecting them to behave like you, make choices like you—essentially, to be you–is a sure path to disappointment.
Now, I’m not saying this is easy by any stretch! I’d consider it graduate level emotional work. I learned through a rough emotional ride in step parenting that if you cannot detach from others’ choices, you may go down with them.
When my brother-in-law and his wife separated recently, I was just heartbroken. They are both good people, and obviously love each other, just as we love them both. I wanted to fix this and pronto! They were clearly (to me) making a huge mistake and I wasn’t sure it was going to be fixed. But I knew it was not my place. So instead, I sent them both blasts of love, and trusted them to make the decisions that are right for them. They did end up reconciling, so I’m grateful.
But even if they hadn’t, who am I to know what is ultimately “right” for either of them? I had to pull my own sense of loss out of the picture to realize it was me I sad for foremost, and that hurt was unquestionably my own business to manage.
I own my life and no other. My light shines not in controlling others, but in loving them purely. My sacred responsibility is to live that one life to the very best of my ability. I see positive influence over others as a wonderful, give-and-take gift when it happens. But the final say always belongs to the body that’s living it.
The inverted Page of Cups reminds me to let go emotionally of others’ lives. The very respect communicated by stepping back is an act of love in and of itself. It is rocky sometimes—I’ll give you that! You can always support via prayer, positive example, and sending loving energy. This not only works—love energy is powerful and palpable—but it’s right
How do you do with letting others make their own choices? Does it drive you nuts?
|Easy Tarot: Learn to Read the Cards Once and For All! |
by Josephine Ellershaw
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