I’ve been actively seeking a kinder, more loving perspective. I don’t believe I’m terribly lacking in that regard. But there’s always room for improvement. And I really like the way it feels. So I want more of it.
This process hasn’t been quite as obvious as I expected at first.
For example, I used to think helping others was more or less always an act of kindness. Of course, it’s not.
You cannot divorce your own values and needs from your interactions with others. Even if your intention is not about manipulation or enforcing your own worldview, it’s impossible to remove the “you” from the equation. We have no other vantage point than self.
You can empathize and imagine and intend from now until kingdom come. But you can never truly put yourself in another’s shoes because you are you, with your own unique blend of energy, experience and conclusions.
Helping behavior can be motivated from the discomfort or frustration of seeing matters not handled to personal standards. It can be motivated from distress over vicariously experiencing struggle, or fear for the person involved, or worry about being on the hook to help rectify unpleasant outcomes. All of this can come into play even without us noticing. See how it’s difficult to keep the intention pure?
But what’s really sticking with me more than anything is the realization of the implications. Leaping to action whenever someone appears to be in the slightest need says as much as anything, “I don’t trust you are up to this task.” And that’s not the message I want to send anybody!
I’ve come to see it as a much greater service to express my faith in the other person’s capacity. That’s what I want to bolster. They have access to the same connection I do–plugging in and receiving divine inspiration. Their conclusions and solutions may not look like mine. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t right, for them.
My goal here isn’t just to butt out of other people’s business. It’s more about keeping my own heart open and trusting that everything in the universe is where it needs to be. It’s understanding I don’t have all the answers, but I’m not called to provide all the answers.
[bctt tweet=”The only answers I’m responsible for providing are my own. #OnMyRadar” via=”no”]
It’s taking more time for me to apply this on a larger scale. I see many things in the world that don’t suit my idea of righteous or good. That doesn’t mean those things aren’t contributing to a greater whole. It only means that I don’t know how.
I used to feel the need to classify everything into categories of right or wrong, good or bad, wanted or unwanted. Social media amplifies this dynamic. But life isn’t so dichotomous.
What if we tried to view everything, personally appealing or not, as having a meaningful contribution in the greater tapestry of humanity? What if we trusted everything is always all right?
In the big picture, that’s exactly what I see.
This week features the Messenger of Water (aka Knight of Cups) from The Good Tarot, along with the Gerbera Daisy from Botanical Inspirations: Purity, Cheerfulness and Innocence. We’ve seen that daisy before.
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive you will see it.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
Try assuming the best, for and about everyone. Take responsibility for your own decisions and only your own decisions. Of course, you can be supportive and helpful. Sometimes that is your role! And it’s a lovely role to play, when that happens. But make sure that helping is invited and done with the desire to be of service instead of “fixing.” Then, your efforts should hit their mark. You can send out love anywhere. And sometimes? The most loving thing you can do is trust the rest of the world (or just your little corner) to right itself.
If you’d like to take a closer look at your life and get yourself back into the flow, give me a holler for a one-on-one session.