I’ve been thinking about how much more complicated life becomes when trying to accommodate other people’s wishes for us.
Damn near everyone has very specific notions of how they’d like to see us behave. Even strangers! But that doesn’t mean it’s a sound idea to acquiesce no matter who it’s coming from.
Trouble is, nobody else can make you happy. You cannot make anyone else happy. For each individual, happiness is a choice. We have no control over how anyone thinks or what they want from us. So why nominate ourselves to manage it?
There is generally self-deception in jumping through hoops to please others. We tell ourselves we’re hoping to make that person happy or spare them some discomfort. We want to make things better. We tell ourselves they need us to fix something or that it’s our responsibility to do what’s demanded of us.
The discomfort that’s avoided is actually personal. If we do what we’re “supposed to do,” then we can take that as proof we’re a good person. If we jump through hoops to please or save another, then we can tell ourselves we’re being kind and loving and helpful.
But kindness and love and caring are not actions–they are states of being. Specifically, they are states of being that don’t require a committee to achieve.
To be a loving person, feel love. To be a kind person, think kind thoughts. To be a supportive person, believe in those you would encourage. You become who you are by way of the feelings you feed, which in turn informs the actions you choose to take.
I see this as so much easier than I used to. I get my feelings on straight FIRST. Then, I see what actions feel best in my heart, where I feel inspired, what most closely reflects what I actually feel good about.
Nobody else needs a vote.
Next week, I’d recommend that approach.
Next Week in Tarot
This week’s forecast comes in the maternal form of the Empress, with advice as the Queen of Wands (here, Fire) from the Good Tarot.
Think in terms of the world being pregnant with potential. Lots being birthed and unearthed and coming into being right now.
And what do we do in the midst of all this? The Queen of Fire is unequivocal: follow your passion. Let your heart guide you.
I woke up with this song playing loud on the psychic soundtrack.
For me, it just reinforces the theme of self-direction. One aside, however: considering the topic of this song and the Empress showing up, be aware of the potential for pregnancy. ‘Nuff said.
Follow your heart. It won’t lead you astray.
If you’d like a personal Tarot check-in, find me here. And have a good week, friends!