I had a meltdown last week. And I’m thinking what I learned from it, will come in handy this upcoming week.
It was over my butterfly bush.
I planted this bush years ago and it grew and grew and grew, crazy big. I let the morning glory vines run amok over it. The butterflies and hummingbirds and bees ate from the blooms. I kept birdseed in the bush, and scattered seed down in front. This bush became a haven for the local wildlife. It gave me some privacy (along with the tree that sprouted up next to it) oh, the smell of those delicate lavender blooms in the breeze!
I adored that butterfly bush and pretty much every day sat outside and admired it. I was even planning on, come time to move, taking a whole bunch of branches so I could plant baby butterfly bushes wherever I ended up. My lovely bush’s children! See, I had this figured out.
I’m not kidding, by the way. I’d discussed this with the bush.
So when my landlady stopped by to tell me she needed to “trim it away from the house.” I winced, knowing she’d take way too much. But you know, what are you gonna do?
When I later went outside to survey the damage, I expected to be unhappy. I didn’t expect the empty space that greeted me. She killed the bush and the tree next to it and pretty much everything else, excepting a cluster of random flowers that had migrated a couple years ago and a pathetic little shrub I’d never cared for much.
I freaked the Hell out. I cried for two days after and–though I’m not proud of it–became hysterical when the landlady came over to “smooth things over” after the fact, suggesting I should buy a bench to put on the pile of mostly empty rocks.
It was not pretty.
Of course, I eventually did what one does when they’re upset about anything. I looked for ways to feel better.
I bought a shepherd’s hook, and some colorful and butterfly-friendly flowers (in pots!) to help fill that space. And while it’s certainly not the same and it will take a while to rebuild my wildlife oasis, it IS much more cheery than the rocks and it did make me feel a lot better. I can now look over there without feeling upset.
And once I started feeling better, I realized it’s not the bush itself that gave me so much joy. That’s what I first thought, in grieving the bush. But it’s not true.
When the landlady looked at the bush, she saw an unkempt mess growing too close to the building and making the property look run down. I get that. Whereas I saw this beautiful, wild hunk of nature that fed birds and butterflies and ME.
But it was the exact same bush we were looking at. It wasn’t that one of us was right and the other wrong. It wasn’t the bush itself that gave me so much joy (or her so much frustration). It was how we thought about that bush, shaping feelings around it.
It was specifically my love and appreciation for that bush that gave me such great joy. The love and appreciation came from ME. It grew in my heart, not in front of my house.
The bush was my excuse to feel good, sure. And it was easy to use it that way. But I can love and appreciate anything! My capacity for love cannot be cut down with a chainsaw. I can love and appreciate new flowers, new bird feeders, and the opportunity to learn more about how to attract wildlife I enjoy so much. Happiness doesn’t come from butterfly bushes, even ones so majestic as mine was.
[bctt tweet=”Appreciation isn’t born from circumstance. It’s from how you think about circumstance.” via=”no”]
All feelings are like that. It’s not outside conditions that determine happiness. It’s how you feel about those conditions. And how you feel about those conditions is driven by how you think about those conditions. You have control over what you’re thinking.
Do you realize how much pure, unadulterated freedom there is in knowing that? Use that insight. Don’t let my butterfly bush die in vain!
Audio Version of Forecast
We’ve got lots of Cups and Swords this week. Expect for emotion to run high in the beginning of the week particularly, and strong potential for conflict afoot. So let’s see how we can get you through this as intact and as happy as possible!
Monday, Five of Wands: A contentious start. There are plenty of things people are fighting about. It’s out there. But is is something you want to engage in? Sure, you can. But does it help and does it make you happy? Just know you can either engage or not. Personally? I’m gonna go hide from it all and dig on my flowers. But what you do is up to you.
Tuesday, The Moon: Lies out there. Lies, lies, lies. You may be hearing the lies or be tempted to tell the lies. But reality is blurry today. I’d suggest to keep yourself on the straight and narrow, honesty-wise. You can use this flavor of energy constructively for creative projects, old fashioned escapism like good novels, movies, or art. Anything Neptune-ish. A nice bath will wash away a lot! Good nap day, too. Get plenty of sleep.
Wednesday, Ace of Cups: A touch emotional and a little raw. Not overwhelming, but a little raw. So tread lightly and be kind, starting with yourself and working your way out.
Thursday, Five of Cups Rx: This energy is a little lighter reversed but still not super fun. There is a feeling of being let down or disappointment. To deal with it, stick to what you know is right and feels okay to you and don’t worry about anybody else. Not like you control that anyway. But give yourself permission to focus on you. Manage your own feelings.
Friday, King of Cups: Emotional maturity is the order of the day. Be kind, generous and compassionate. Which always starts in the mirror with yourself, period. Not a battle day. More a supportive circle of people kind of day. Either do it for others or hang with those who do it for you.
Saturday, Five of Swords: Contentious energy. While the Five of Wands (Monday) is the fight, this is the victor emerging from argument. On a personal level, it’s really going to be about how emotionally attached you are a particular outcome. If you feel emotionally defeated, realize it’s a FEELING based on your thoughts, not a REALITY based on the hard and fast. You have control over thoughts.
Sunday, Hermit Rx: Mix alone and social time. Don’t completely withdraw to your cave. Spend some time for you, some time interacting, which will make the best day.
Overview/Advice, Queen of Wands Rx: Avoid stubbornness and controlling tendencies. This Queen Rx can be a control freak. Other people’s issues? BUTT OUT! Life will go a whole lot better that way.
Affirmation: I love life. There is a lot of struggle and strife right out our windows right now. You decide whether you sit and stare out the window, whether you go outside and engage in the fighting, or whether you pull down the shades and turn on a movie. Focus on what makes you happy, your intentions, desires, needs and wants. Let the world deal with their own needs and issues. It’s not your job to fix the world! But you can help–by improving your experience. The collective is nothing more than individuals doing their part. You want a happy world? You do your part by turning on your happiness. Each person, doing their own thing in their own lives, inspiring by their example, is how collective change is born. So be that person.
How are you doing staying in your own lane?
This week’s forecast features the Zombie Tarot and Louise Hay’s Power Thought Cards. You may also like my book, Everyday Tarot Archives or to book a private session.