When I first started dating my husband, there were a few times I’d be talking when suddenly, he’d get very upset with me.
I was absolutely crazy about him and wouldn’t have intentionally said anything to bother him, ever. So such episodes took me utterly by surprise.
“What’s wrong?! I don’t understand…”
Fortunately, we were able to discuss it. Turns out, he’d sometimes “hear” something very different than what I was actually trying to say.
It happened to me a few times, too. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. It was the terrain.
He was raw from his divorce. I still felt beat up from my last train wreck of a relationship. So sometimes, echos of an unhappy past would surface in our not-unhappy present.
Practiced emotional reactions have a way of sneaking up us. They color our sense of reality. If you’ve spent years living with unkindness, manipulation or hidden agendas, you’re going to perceive those oft-repeated themes sometimes, even where they aren’t there.
While it’s absolutely true the past helps predict the future, if you don’t remain mostly present in the now, there’s no path for changing the past.
And the more you focus on a troublesome past, the more you’ll perceive repetition. Eventually, you’ll develop a remarkable ability to literally recreate it by attracting those most likely to give you more of it.
Or you can work though to make a different future.
My husband and I were lucky. We talked it out from the start. We built trust. Without being able to disrupt that cycle, we probably wouldn’t still be together these 30-ish years later.
This next week would be a good time to leave the emotional trips of the past behind and look to the now you want instead.
Next Week in Tarot
For the forecast, it’s the reversed Eight of Cups. Advice is given by the Eight of Pentacles, upright, both from the Tarot Illuminati deck.
Some perceptions are colored by old emotional issues–maybe those you thought you’d already left behind.
I know that can suck. But it’s okay.
Realizing and acknowledging what we’re tapping into, we can quickly see those emotional responses that aren’t completely based on the here and now. That’s useful information!
It helps if you worry less about what’s “true” and more about what feels best. You cannot know what’s inside someone else’s head. But you can know what feels the best to assume. So do that!
And above all, just keep working your way through it. We get better as we go. One little bit, one step at a time is how progress is made. It’s not a quick fix here. It’s a process! But if you keep your wits about you, it doesn’t have to be an ugly process.
I wouldn’t even call it repair work. It’s not fixing the old car. It’s creating a new one, you know? The outlook that’s going to drive your future is getting built. Make it a sweet ride!
Are you hearing echos of the past (and are you able to recognize them for what they are)?
Be well out there, friends! And if you want help making a plan for driving in the direction you want, give me a holler.