I have a decidedly low threshold for disharmony. I usually blame that on being all “sensitive” and whatnot, eating the emotional energy in the room.. But there is a more influential reason.
Here we’ve got the Four of Pentacles (Sun in Capricorn). This fellow is often read as fearful, greedy, and miserly. But I also see him show up to indicate stability, solid foundations and (at least some) success. Like most flavors of energy, his has multiple applications, you know?
I write sometimes about the struggles I’ve had with my family and their faith. I know it impacted me deeply. Until not-so-long ago, I would have told you with a straight face, though, it makes little difference anymore. But I discovered it does, much more than I realized.
I have a really tough time with emotional disconnects from people I care about. Not than anyone savors it, mind you. I’ve got that. But for me, the feeling goes alongside—either I somehow become exactly who you want me to be, or you’ll throw me away. It still smacks me, sometimes hard. Carrying that around subconsciously can create…um, complications, you know?
Well, it’s not all that subconscious anymore. And what the Four of Pentacles is reminding me of is that I already HAVE stability. There are people in my life who are not leaving. But even more so, I have stability that comes from within. Looking outside myself for it becomes a bottomless pit, a hunger that can never be satisfied. Looking within, when I manage to generate my own sense of self-worth and continuity, I don’t have to rely on any single outside source. I am safe.
That’s not to say some losses would not be tremendous or inordinately painful if they came to pass. But it does mean that I can relax my guard some, because I won’t cease to exist if somebody I love doesn’t always love me back.
Does this guy have something to tell you today?
 Legacy of the Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti |
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He came up in a reading I did for myself just last night. I took it as a suggestion to stand firmly on my values. Cling to them. And, if that causes people to walk away..then..well, I’ll eventually be ok.
He’s right, in that regard. I worked hard to uncover what is valuable to me. And, I’m not talking monetary terms. Although, I’m sure you realize that.
Extremely confirming to come here and read your take on it this morning.
Bittersweet it is..
:thunder: :umbrella: :rainbow:
I love getting the same cards as you, Josi! And love getting the same general message as well. Confirming for me, too.