From a reading…
Don’t worry that you’ve created the mess by not always focusing on the light, okay? Yes, you create your reality, but in a relationship, you do not create it alone. So stop thinking of problems as a personal failing, where you were not “good enough” to successfully fight for the higher ground.
This whole thing, the ups and downs and in between, is a series of the life lessons for you to study. You are not failing spiritually, because of the shadow on your happiness. You do not control everything that happens directly. You control your thoughts, where your energy goes.
And even when things stray into uncomfortable avenues, there will be something of use there for you to pick and and learn from that can add to your eventual fulfillment and gifts to others. So accept it all all part of the process, okay? With LOVE, not regret.
What do you see?