Remembering Where You Hid the Bodies

In highly painful circumstance, shutting down emotionally is one way to cope. It’s a self-defense mechanism and it serves a vital purpose. It spares us what is (at the time) unbearable pain and allows ongoing functioning. And that’s a useful trick. Sometimes, putting one foot in front of the other is a laudable goal.

Problems ensue when we cling to the tactic beyond it’s useful shelf life. That pain you want to deny becomes the bodies buried in your psyche.

“What bodies?” you may say. “Everything’s fine! See?”

And on the outside, maybe so. But inside? Just because you’re short-circuited your emotional system to avoid pain doesn’t mean it’s not still generating output. If you won’t allow direct expression, it WILL eventually express indirectly–illness, accidents, unpredictable outbursts, or depression. It becomes the dam that eventually burst when the backed-up energy overpowers the clog. And it’s exhausting, both keeping the damn repaired and dealing with inevitable overflows.

Without a good connection to our emotions, we also don’t have access to our radar. Most of being in the flow, getting divine direction and assistance, is fed through awareness of emotional and energetic weather, you know? Without being sure of your feelings, you’re driving blind.

Thing is, you can’t just shut down specific emotional systems. You can make sure nobody gets close enough to hurt you, but in doing so, you likewise make sure nobody can get close enough to love you. The potential for pain and bliss are forever married within the context of intimacy. Without allowing yourself to feel bad, you can also not feel good.

I won’t kid ya. It takes courage to allow that emotional flow back in, but well worth the trouble. In exhuming those bodies, you buy back your power. You don’t have to share the grisly details with the world. Just with yourself.

Have you ever shut down emotionally? Did you have trouble turning it back on?