April 11

Stopping your Virgo from Butting In – Knight Swords


I’m quick to defend Virgo—partially because the attacks feel kind of personal, being very Virgo and all—and partially because we’re largely misunderstood. But even I can’t deny there is some truth to the stereotypes, legitimate reasons for the complaints people have about Virgos.

We are fussy, critical, and perfectionistic at times. Some of us do insert ourselves into situations without invitation. We may even be right, but if anything, that makes the rub worse. It may help your tolerance level if you understand why. And if you have this tendency yourself, I’ve got some advice for you to keep from alienating others with your helpfulness.

Knights/princes usually represent more extreme or polarized energy. The Prince of Clouds, like Virgo, can be both very insightful and very cutting. Directness is expected and the fact may be straight, but some insights end up more overbearing than helpful. Challenges for knights always involve balancing duality of some sort.They are in an eternal quest for balance.

Here’s the thing to understand about Virgo: they don’t just like to serve, they NEED to serve. It’s a deeply rooted drive, and any Virgo ignores it at their peril. Show me a Virgo who feels like they have nothing useful to contribute, and I’ll show you a depressed Virgo. It doesn’t have to be a big help, either. Any contribution counts, as long as they feel they’re improving the situation. You want to feed a Virgo? Let them know you find them helpful.

All this sounds well and good, and by and large, it is. The problem comes in when Virgo doesn’t have an immediate problem to solve or avenue to contribute. Virgo is born processing the details and WILL see the picture that’s askance in any room. Even at your house. Not only will Virgo see it, but knowing it’s not right (and soooooo easy to fix) will drive Virgo to distraction.

That’s when the “helpfulness” kicks in. Either dropping hints or nudging, suggesting or prodding at the start, gently perhaps. Just in case you missed it…Eventually, if you don’t straighten the picture, Virgo may reach over and do it himself. He’s not trying to be disrespectful. It just pains him to see disorder, almost as much as it pains him to walk away from a need unmet. Who wouldn’t want that picture straight?

What would the world be like if nobody paid attention to the crooked pictures? A mess, naturally!  Of course, this often annoys folks, and their frustration leaves Virgo feeling hurt. He is always only trying to help.

I am SO much better about this than I used to be, but will readily admit it’s an ongoing process. Having teen-aged children helped a lot. There is nothing like watching a kid know exactly what needs to be done, articulate it perfectly, acknowledge all the reasons for it’s importance, and then ignore it until it blows up.

At first, you try dropping hints, suggestions. You explain consequences. Nag a little, maybe. Remind. Offer assistance. Eventually, it becomes clear while your ideas may be right and proper, the decision to do or not, does not belong to you. You see there is a greater service in allowing your children the space to succeed by their own hand, or fail and experience the consequences. It’s their life, their decisions and their priorities. It’s their business, and allowing them to mind it themselves helps them grow up.

That is not to say I don’t still struggle with it. If there’s a need, Mom wants to help. Sometimes Mom steps in and does too much. Shocking, huh? Fortunately, my kids love me enough to appreciate the intent even when the expression is overzealous.

There are many ways to serve. One of the strongest is by example. The Prince of Clouds reminds us to be aware of how our words and actions impact others. Stepping in to take over without invitation can become inadvertent expression of someone else’s incapacity. That isn’t respectful and doesn’t serve.

Instead, direct your nitpick-tendencies towards keeping your own affairs in order!  Serve by example and illustrate good results. Others will ask for your help. Direct your helping energy where it’s wanted, and it will do the most good. Your discrimination becomes a gift used in this way. And you really will do more good in the end. Because I understand, that’s what you’re after.

Do you get the urge to fix things without being asked? Got Virgo?

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Knight of Swords, Virgo

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