December 23

Not-So-Merry: Christmas Grief


All those traditional things that make Christmas special–home, health, and family–can be the very same reminders that bring so much pain.

Christmas grief visits when what’s missing is much more glaring that what’s there.

I cannot wish “Merry Christmas” to someone for whom I know, it will feel anything but “merry.” I cannot bring myself to brightly say, “Happy New Year!” to someone who is wondering how the Hell they’re going to get through the year at all.

Happiness isn’t much of an option in some cases. “Functioning” is a more realistic wish.

“Wishing you a functional new year” isn’t exactly poetic now, is it?

So for those who are feeling that aching lack….I do have some holiday wishes for you.


May you give and receive enough LOVE to sweeten, if even the tiniest bit, the bitterness life may have visited upon you.


In whatever form it takes, may you receive and feel the SUPPORT to help you through the days and nights, now and to come.


May you catch glimmers of HOPE that every day will not hurt as much as today does.


May you find the FORTITUDE to get up each day, to take care of yourselves, and to continue through whatever pain you carry, as best you can.

Pain changes us. It can make us cold and emotionally shut down, or it can blast our hearts wide open.

We all have loss. We all bleed. It’s not a choice.

[bctt tweet=”Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what pain they carry in their hearts.”]

How we go about living in light of the pain? How we honor ourselves, our loved ones and what we stand for? That’s a choice.

And from those I’ve watched do just this, I’ve learned SO MUCH grace. It’s beyond humbling. Thank you for that.

And if you have special people in your life? Consider this a reminder to let them know how much you appreciate them. Because nothing is permanent.

Whatever your situation this year, and whether or not Christmas Grief is a part of it…well…much love to you.


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Grief, Holidays

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  1. Thank you for this. I decided this morning to try and help someone else who is having an even rougher time right now. Blessings to you Dixie…

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